Cinema Hall Review: Santosh Cinema

There are two ways of going to Santosh. Both of these will get you tickets, but one won’t let you watch the movie. The first way lands you at the ticket counter, where you can buy as many tickets you want, and go watch the movie. The second way will also get you a ticket (however, just one this time), and if you want more, you’ll have to repeat the journey. It’s only a small matter that the usher won’t accept these tickets or let you in. No, its not that the theatre is selling bogus tickets, it just that the second set of tickets are handed out by the khaki clothed men. Santosh lies on Abid Road, or Abids, which has been one of the oldest “one way streets” in Hyderabad.

Its unique location may have led to many of the following types of exchanges between two Hyderabadis. A: C’mon, let’s go or we won’t get tickets! B: Chill, we’ll call Prasad’s. A: Say what now? They’re sold out?” B (philosophically): O’ well … there’s always Santosh.” If you live north of Abids, you’ve probably met A and B. If you happen to live south of Abids, replace A & B with X & Y, and Prasad’s with Ramakrishna. However, the constant in both the equations remains Santosh. For that is what Santosh typically is. A reservoir for the ardent movie buffs, a movie screener of the last resort. Thanks to location which is bang in the centre of Hyderabad, it easily accepts the spillover crowd coming from all directions. Patrons who come here, are generally from the Old City, and Santosh mostly caters to them by playing only Hindi films. The norm here is to pay the distributors by the week for each movie, increasing the chances of you finding the latest craze which you want to catch.

In the 26 years of its existence, Santosh has been renovated 5 times. However, the teak wood paneling in the lobby still remains all of a quarter of a century old. And with the shiny polishing work, it still retains its charm and grandeur. It serves as an automatic deterrent to the Rajnigandha gobblers, forcing them to look elsewhere. One of the ironies of this cinema is the ramp. While some theatres use stairs, and others have gotten round to escalators, Santosh still uses its ancient ramp. It’s probably the only place in the world, where it is the audience which gets to walk a red carpeted ramp to see their models and actors.

A huge huge plus point once you get inside, is the distance between the two rows of seats. No wonder they don’t air the statutory message “Please don’t keep your feet on the chair in front” during intervals. The reason is not too far beyond comprehension. It’s impossible even if you wanted to. If you wanted to play at being Rangeela’s Aamer Khan inside Santosh, you’d also have to be Shaquille O’Neil. Or Michael Jordan. Or Completely Horizontal.

Come to think of it, Santosh is full of ironies. One message that they do air during the intervals is that of “no smoking”. However, the photo sports a James Bond sort of man casually lighting a cigarette, with the lighter obscured by a small encircled cross. The effect which gets conveyed is probably more to remind the smoker of his depleted serum nicotine levels, rather than advocate the evils of smoking to the general public. Little wonder then, that king sized Gold Flakes can be had for Rs. 5, just outside in the lobby.

The lobby has comfortable sofas, and small tables with bowls in front. Ostensibly, these are supposed to serve as ashtrays. However, the hovercraft class swinging pedestal fans make sure that flicking the ash on the ground or inside the bowl has the same net effect.

When you enter the hall, the red carpet welcome always gets a tad overdone. As you climb the stairs, and emerge onto the landing, remember to hold on to something. Stepping on to the red carpeted cushioning of the landing is like stepping on 10 feet of hay stacked in a vertical column. Air conditioning is absent, but you do have air coolers, with blowers powerful enough to make sure that you have bad hair days for six consecutive days.

In the end, the theatre stands good on the promise lent by its name, and the experience can be called just that. Satisfactory. Santosh is, and remains a place to go to when you’re out of options.